ATWI8D – Day 6

The Baths.

Not the turkish baths (much to my disappointment) or a bath house ( not sure what that is but it sounds nice) or a hygienic practice one does to wash away the filth (both emotional and physical).

No, these baths were much cooler than all of those things. “The Baths” are found on Virgin Gorda which is North West of Tortola…for those of you keeping track. They are a series of massive boulders that create “caves” and other inlets where ocean water sits in serene pools or crashes trying to get into said pools.

The boulders have been eaten away by the ocean water over centuries. Or perhaps it was Earth Mother Gaia, or Poesidon, or Aqua Man. I’m not one to argue against someone’s faith.

It’s literally a hop skip and a boat ride away from Spanish town where we’d docked the night before. So after a quick trip to pay for the dockage fee and a stop off at the store to re-provision (more spam and mac and cheese. Praise Aqua Man they had it in stock) we were on our way to “The Baths”. I’m not sure why I’m using quotes on this. I mean technically they were baths. Although people didn’t wash themselves and there were little to now hanky panky going on. Although, I’m sure in the right mood much boinking could and would occur.

The mooring near the baths was temporary so we would have to leave for our evening dockage in a few hours. This left ample time for us to dingy over to the baths, hop off the boat and explore.

This of course, was not what happened.

“The Baths” are a very populated area and you are required to tie off your dingy at a line some 30 yards off the shore. At which point you swim in and explore. Now, we had some precious cargo we did not want to get wet (beer and cigarettes.) so a plan was formed. The F.I.L and the S.I.L would drop myself, the wife and Loc off on a beach near by. We’d navigate to “The Baths” on foot while they moored and swam to shore. Easy Peasy. Mac and cheesy (and spam).

Unfortunately, the beach we were dropped off on did not have a direct route to “The Baths” which were literally only a series of several boulders away from where we landed. These boulders were impassible or so it was decided, because it looked hard and we were in flip flops.

The only way for us to get there was to go up “the road”, which is in quotes because we weren’t quite sure it existed, and to walk half a mile to the entrance to the park.

Given that no one had a phone or a radio it was quickly decided that we’d walk. After about five minutes of searching we found the road and began to walk to the right. As it seemed like the logical direction to walk in at that time. We walked down what turned out to be a small road that several amazing and utterly unaffordable homes used. It was both beautiful and defeating.

After a massive hill that ended in a lot of sweat we reached the main road and the realization that we had more to walk. At this point I might as well have swam given how sweaty I was. I’m a “big fella” (or so the F.I.L said) and I sweat easily. Very Easily. Please read “Hot Time” for more information on my sweating habits.

Eventually, Thank Gaia, we reached our destination and walked another 200 meters to the shore. Where we were promptly met by no one we knew.  After a few moments of staring at the ocean in frustration we heard the S.I.L say “There you are” and we celebrated with beer, completely dry other than the condensation from the heat and the cold mixing and science stuff and the fact that it’s a liquid.

But we made it and we explored and it was awesome. Here is a picture to prove I was there:

 

Pretty cool right?

To ensure that the trip back was easier both the wife and the S.I.L swam back to the dingy, rowed it to shore, got the men, rowed it back past the dingy line…where we (Loc) took over and drove us back to the boat. We quickly unmoored and drove to the other side of Virgin Gorda to Levericks. Here we moored and ate dinner ashore. From our view you could easily see Sir Richard Branson’s Island which has a great view of his new island which provided me a full view of inferiority complex.

Dinner was lovely, but the view was even better. We soaked it and a few bottles of beer in before calling it a night.

The wind was particularly bad that evening so the ship was rocking quite a bit. And you know what they say, “when the ships a rockin Todd is probably not sleeping and fearing for his life.”

And so, as I quietly wished the world would stop spinning, I thanked Poseidon for another wonderful day.

Around the yada in yada yada – day 4

Day 4

The dive(s)

Or as I like to call it “irrational fear of being eaten by sea monster(s)”

The “irrational” part is for my wife who claims that “sea monsters” aren’t “real” and I shouldn’t “freak out” under “40 feet” of water.

So far I’ve not seen any monsters…so I do not have any evidence that supports her claims.

The sister in-law’s boyfriend had been working on his certification before we came down here and his open water dives were supposed to be done by the time we got there. But due to some bad ribs the dives were delayed till today.

Our dives were near our mooring at Kelly cove. I’m fact the first one was literally one mooring away. So when the dive boat got there Blue Water Divers (who I highly recommend) called on the VHF radio and we took the dingy over.

The first dive was nice. Stacey and I and her dad went with one dive guide while Loc and Stef went with the other to finish Loc’s training. The second dive was even better. A short trip across the straight to a nearby island we hopped in and dove Rainbow Canyon. (Not a canyon made of rainbows…I know. I was also disappointed, But still very cool.)

My first canyon dive. These dives are like normal dives but you go through an underwater canyon. Which is neat. Like super neat. Like, giant walking through the Grand Canyon but you’re underwater and the people are actually fishes, neat.

The path leads you straight through coral lined walls and you swim up and down and through several really beautiful areas. I was blown away by how much life there was down there. If you can get there. I recommend it.

We saw six lobsters. I’m not sure why this is important, but it is.

I like dives where a trained diver is taking you through an area they are familiar with so you don’t have to add the fear of getting lost to the laundry list of anxiety you already dealing with. This will be important to remember later.

For reasons of fear and panic.

I should say I actually love diving. Like a lot. It is an almost indescribable experience. I mean, you’re breathing underwater. UNDERWATER. LIKE A FISH. Like a manatee in my case (they breath underwater, right?). I’d always wanted to do that. From the moment I told my dad I’d “figured out how fish breath underwater” to the Ambulance ride after my logic did not pan out. I knew that I wanted to breath underwater. There was just the pesky issue of irrational fears and paralyzing panic attacks to get passed.

Luckily I met a beautiful girl who I eventually tricked into marrying me. And to get back at me for our marriage she got me to get certified for scuba.
So when the man comes and asks “are you for scuba?” The answer is “yes, but only if I can have one of those speedos.”

The second dive ended and we were back to the boat. Loc was officially certified. Blue water divers surprised me even more by cracking a cooler and serving cold beer to everyone on the boat.

I told you. They are awesome.

After a few beers we headed back to our boat to pick up money to pay for the dives. They just let us leave in a boat in the middle of the ocean to get money. Which we did and promptly returned…but still.

Lunch that day was a delicious platter of cracker sandwiches. Various meats and cheeses and gluten free crackers (by gluteno) washed down with copious amounts of beer.

I cannot understate how good this was or how many crackers we consumed on this trip.

To celebrate we took the boat to Cooper Island and relaxed our way through the rest of the afternoon. We ate shrimp pasta that night. I made a rum and onion and garlic sauce mixed with some pre-cooked shrimp. (On a boat not everything can be made from scratch. I mean, I didn’t make the shrimp earth mother Gaia did but you get my feel). It was really good. You know, if I do say so myself. I don’t remember what went into it.

We also drank much beer and much rum that night. Much being the key word. Two bottles of rum were polished off in a single night. (some used in cooking) The cabin we slept in felt very small but the only rocking was in my head.

The water was calm and night was beautiful. I slept well.

A perfect ending to a perfect day.

Around the world in 80 days…* – day 1

* not an honest representation of the reality of my truth.

Day 1

Travel day. These are always fun. Like the kind of fun you have when you’re trying to eat ten hot dogs in two minutes cause your friend Dan said You couldn’t and called you out in front of the whole cafeteria. But after the last hot dog is finished and the tear is wiped from your eye you smile because you know you did it. That is what traveling is like for me. Ten hot dogs in two minutes.

We flew Jet Blue this time, which is a surprisingly awesome airline. So awesome that I said “we should sign up for their miles program” at least five times during the trip. (Sponsorship please. I accept free flights and peanut M&Ms). Keeping with tradition of having an amazing gate agent for our trips the Jet Blue gate agent was spot on. Very nice and happy and very gay he made a nine am flight after three hours of sleep a dream. Despite Stacey’s requests we did not take him with us. He is probably still in Chicago making other weary travelers happy.

Our first leg of the journey landed us in San Juan Puerto Rico. Or as I call it the island of Ponderosas. Puerto Rico is incredibly beautiful and filled with wonderful people but it’s like all of the Ponderosas from the nineties packed up shop and moved down to the 51st state. That and Carls Jr, lots of those too. We didn’t get to leave the airport but we had a short (four hour) layover. If you thought eating in an airport was expensive try eating in an airport on an island. For a plate of wings (fresh, rooster was crowing upstairs at baggage and was in our stomachs 20 min later) a steak sandwich and four beers rang up a 70 dollar tab. Which sucks but at least the beers weren’t $9 and roughly 8oz*

*they were.

Our flight to Tortola left at 7pm and was on a small two prop 8 seater plane. The nose was baggage storage and the wings held our carry ons. This plane was tiny. I sat behind the captain in a tangle of my own body parts.

I’m better at flying than I was. But not awesome at it, in fact many would say I’m “bad” at flying. That I “panic” quietly as we take off and land. These people are 100% correct. It was my first flight on this small of a plane and it happened to be at night, which is super duper. The thing about these little planes is that they fly relatively low and they pivot in the air. It’s a crazy flight and the landing part is even crazier. And since the ride is only forty five minutes it still happened to be might when we landed, in fact it was even darker than when we took off. Weird.

After a quick check in with customs and a baggage scare we were off. Stacey’s sister and her boyfriend picked us up in the tiniest little car ( SUV? Probably a stretch) our bags and four people were “snug” (I’m not sure I was actually in the car) for our ride to the house. If you’ve never driven on the islands let me paint the picture for you. Imagine a roller coaster in a really crappy theme park, not in the best of shape but still running at full speed. Now imagine it with people In cars coming in both directions that slow down to avoid each other at the last possible moment. And it’s night. And this is a British territory so everyone is driving on the “opposite” side of the road.

Notice I didn’t say wrong. Just because something is different than I’m used to doesn’t make it wrong…dad.

The night ended with a few beers to celebrate surviving aforementioned drive and a rolling black out that affected the west end of the island. The lights went out and the stars came out. It was, without a doubt, the most vivid and expansive field of stars I’ve ever seen.

As I fell asleep sweating like crazy and in a panic that the lights wouldn’t come back on, I thought, “this is going to be a great trip”